10 Things To Never Say To A Stripper
1. What’s your real name?
I can understand this question being asked after you have built a relationship as a customer with a dancer. However, too often is it the first question asked. I can usually move past the question with a giggle and sweet comment that indicates it’s none of their business. If they push the issue, I will use a very common name that starts with the letter of my real name. So you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing by asking me this. Congratulations, sir.
2. Why are you doing this?
The question itself does not bother me. It’s the manner in which this question is asked. It’s always some “Captain Save A Ho” who thinks he’s in love with you. Worry and sorrow fill his face as he asks, “why are you doing this?!”. And it will surly be followed by him guessing why he thinks I’m “doing this” at rapid fire. As if he were on a game show and is going to win a prize the faster he guesses it: “You’re a student? Single mom? Abusive boyfriend?! CRACK ADDICTION?!.” Sorry Captain Save A Ho, you will never have a chance with me. You’ve exposed your close-mindedness. You’re only going to bore me.
3. Do you give happy endings?
This question is annoying, because we know exactly what you are talking about. However, this one allows you to get creative. The next time I get asked this question, I am going to tell him that I DO give happy endings. Once I sell him the VIP and our time is coming close, I will simply stand up and say “And we all lived happily ever after”.
4. What are doing after you get off work?
The answer will always the same: “Sleeping, mother fucker”.
5. Do you have a boyfriend?
Despite what many might think, strippers are not stupid. Especially when it comes to their money. By telling you we have a boyfriend or a husband, you’re going to picture your money going to him, when you give your money to me. Therefore making the process of extracting money from you , much more difficult. So just like question #1, you’ve accomplished nothing but being lied to.
6. Why should I pay for something I can get for free?
Easy, because you’re in a strip club, asshole.
7. Stand up and let me take a look at you.
I’m not cattle, and I don’t want to be treated as such. When I get asked this question, I stand up… and walk away.
8. You should give me a cheaper dance because I’m better looking than most of the guys you dance for.
Honey, in no way have you turned me on by saying this. You should be humiliated. Now go home and do your homework, brat.
9. I’ll get a dance, if it’s free.
Suicide watch. Someone wants to die. This is the worst thing you can say to a stripper. I think my dear friend responded to this most appropriately with: “Do I go to your job and ask for free shit?!?”
10. My girlfriend will get mad at me.
Then go home! I’m sure she’s waiting there with a ball-gag and a big black dildo to stick up your ass anyway.
Most of these are pretty common sense, but I never understood the first one. Why can’t we ask for your real name? I go into a strip club wanting to experience bodily pleasure, sure, but this does not mean I view the dancers as meat; I’d like to get to know them as people as well, at least on a basic level. This begins with your real name, what area you’re from, your hobbies/aspirations, etc. If all I know you by is ‘Candy,’ this only reinforces the stereotype of dancers’ only being useful in terms of what their body can do, and cuts half of the enjoyment out of going to the club. If I wanted to do this, I’d hire a prostitute and quickly forget, or not even inquire as to, her name. Connecting with dancers is a vital aspect of the experience of a strip club, and sincerity (or at least perceived sincerity) is a crucial component of this connection and is a good foundation builder. It also has monetary benefits for the dancers in my opinion, as any information we can get from you that we think not every guy at the club already knows, the fonder we will be of you and thus the more money we will be willing to give you.
Hi Chris,
As I always say, the strip club is not match.com. We are providing a fantasy. We are essentially actresses. We view customers asking for our real names as an invasion of our private lives. We are providing a service for cost. That service is a fantasy.
“Once I sell him the VIP and our time is coming close, I will simply stand up and say “And we all lived happily ever after”.”
This is enough to make me want to go to strip clubs with jerks just to see this happen. I would *die* laughing.
My usual response to “What’s your real name?” was “Your mother lied when she said you were special!” Men are such idiots. I spent almost 6 years in the business and it never ceased to amaze me how men seemed to think they were somehow above us – and that we should be “honored” by the opportunity to earn their money. Sweetheart, look around – there are 100 other men in this room and only one of me.
ADORE ! haha <3 you're too much !